standless | IC INBOX

Perhaps not a lemon, [Jonathan murmurs, already searching about the fridge as he holds his kettle.] Oh! Or perhaps so! It seems we've still some lemon from a recent dinner! [He cheers, quickly setting about to getting the tea together.

With the kettle already starting to give a low, humming whistle as it prepares to truly boil, it won't take long at all. Tea is quickly being poured into cups, lemon cut, and but moments after Jonathan comes to sit upon the couch himself as he sets the tray of drinks- and some perhaps obligatory biscuits- down.]

There! I should think that the perfect thing after a brisk walk!

[One could almost forget just how awkward a conversation topic it was that brought them to having tea in the first place.]

It's okay if you don't, really– Oh.

[ Abbacchio quietly stirs his tea while Jonathan settles down on the sofa. As nice as this is – and really it is – he still can't shake their earlier conversation from his mind. He doesn't want to just rudely ask "Hey, so who is your kid?" but the topic is still kind of baffling to him. None of the dates add up. ]

So, you know everyone at the hill then?

[ Taking a sip of his tea, he watches Jonathan carefully over the lip of the cup. Could he have been subtler? Maybe.]

I would not say everyone, [he replies easily.] At the very least, while I am somewhat familiar with most of the residents, I would not be so foolish as to assume too much about what they think. Moreover those I knew best have largely left since I've come here, [Jonathan explains, casual and calm.] Truthfully, I should say I am somewhat familiar with Trish, and Fuugo- whom I met through Giorno himself- and from there, much more familiar with Giorno.

[~~Hard to get familiar with the kid, when the player is the same, see.~~

Jonathan sighs, sipping his tea.] I do hope he isn't still upset over our last conversation however- or at the very least, that he realized what I properly meant. We only met here, after all. Circumstances in our own lives made a natural meeting quite impossible after all.

[ He nods idly as Jonathan starts. He knows that several people have been through the hill, so it makes sense he would be more familiar with those who are no longer here. As he continues though, Abbacchio swallows his tea wrong, coughs a little embarrassingly and stares at Jonathan as if he's just said the most offensive thing imaginable.

Giorno? Is that what he's implying? How is that even possible?

His son is Giorno Giovanna??

?????? ]

Oh-

[Not choking!] ...Are you alright? Should I go on? I'm sure it must be quite a shock- we are after all a full century apart, and it would absolutely be impossible under typical circumstance, but I am quite truthful when I say that is how we are related.

[ The whole century between them absolutely pales in comparison to everything else. The fact that Jonathan's son is, apparently, Giorno Giovanna. Ignoring how it shouldn't even be possible, because it really is absurd, and in spite of how impossible it sounds he doesn't get the idea this is the kind of thing Jonathan would lie about. ]

Giorno? Really?

[ He sets the cup down carefully so as not to cause a spill and watches the concern flit across Jonathan's face. The same Giorno who turned up out of nowhere and threw his entire life into chaos for a handful of days before leaving him to die alone on a beach? How much does Jonathan even know? ]

Yes, precisely.

[He has of course misunderstood the source of the confusion, of the shock and alarm- Jonathan simply nods calmly, concern still across his face for his friend.] It is as I said- despite my death in 1890, my son- my second son, if one must focus upon details- was born nearly a full century later.

[ He stares as Jonathan talks, probably rather rudely admittedly but there are other things on his mind. ]

… I don't understand. Giorno is–

[ An awful manipulative brat, is what he wants to say. Instead he just opts to leave it at that. Does Jonathan know about him? Or how horribly he gets along with his actual son? ]

Do you...perhaps need a moment more? [he asks, frowning- and still not understanding of course, what it is that Abbacchio is saying.] I'm certainly not about to shoo you out after a mere few minutes- you have what time you need, I assure you.

N-no, we don't, [ he laughs, though it's not a humorous sound. He sounds more like he's losing his mind, which to be fair, he sort of is. ] Giorno and I don't exactly see eye-to-eye. At all. I'm pretty sure he hates me, actually…

[ He keeps things deliberately vague as he looks back towards Jonathan, though he pales as he does. Saying they don't see eye-to-eye is such a massive understatement considering at one point he swore he'd beat Giorno up. And he's sitting here. Drinking tea with his father. ]

Oh- I'm certain that can't be the case! Truthfully I feel he reserves his hatred for a rather choice few, [Jonathan continues encouragingly.] I highly doubt you've done anything to warrant it.

If he seems closed off, that is simply his nature I fear. He is a very private person- he holds his heart close, hidden, [he emphasizes, the worry of a good father heavy in his tone.] He's more likely to do things quietly in other words- it may well be that he's been trying to show kindness without you even realizing!

[He sips his tea, but worry has set in his face.] ...Still, I cannot help but ask- what makes you so certain that he hates you to begin with?

[ These aren't things he should be hearing about Giorno – even if they're things he's already gleaned pieces of through his own observations, it feels different coming from Jonathan, more personal somehow. But when he talks about kindness, he sits up a little straighter. ]

Giorno has no reason to show me any kindness.

[ It's a statement he makes with conviction. And yet he has – multiple times. ]

I've been… Less than pleasant towards him.

[ Again with the understatements. He looks down at his hands, partly because he does not want to see whatever expression may be on Jonathan's face at his admission. ]

[Jonathan studies the other for a moment, his tea cup resting on the table.

After some silence, he smiles.] ...I feel that many of us can have moments such as that. Truly, even I myself have started encounters with others with so much less than kindness...even within the last month or so, [he confesses as he looks to the side.]

...Abbacchio. Whatever you have said, or done toward him- is it anything you would take back, or change? Was it something that perhaps in the moment made sense to your mind, from where you stood and witnessed him? Giorno is a private person- and even I can see how such privacy could be misread, or interpreted as something else. I imagine that Giorno himself is well aware of that as well, [he laughs, his smile warm as he picks up his tea again.] ...But in cases such as that, is it not our actions afterward that truly say what sort of person we are? Not even our actions toward one individual necessarily, but to those others around us?

[ Would he change it, the way he's behaved towards Giorno? It's hard to say, with how everything happened it's not like he ever got the chance to really get to know him. Though, he supposes that's what this is – what was it Bucciarati had said? Second chances and silver linings… ]

Some actions can't be forgiven.

[ Is he talking about his own actions towards Giorno, or of Giorno's towards him? Has Giorno really done anything so egregious? Abbacchio had only perceived Giorno to be untrustworthy, obfuscating his intentions behind pretty words. Was it really just a desire for privacy and not ill intent? If Abbacchio hadn't been so adamantly stubborn about Giorno… would things have still been the same? ]

[Again, Jonathan must think.]

Perhaps.

...There are those who would argue that my step-brother...in a sense, also Giorno's father, crossed that line long before I ever felt he had, [he finds himself sighing over his tea.]

...But somehow, I cannot fathom you yourself having crossed that line in this case. If I may ask Abbacchio, just what is it thatyou feel you did?

[ The more Jonathan speaks, the more pieces of information he reveals that Abbacchio thinks he absolutely should not know. As much as he wants to know more about that particular bombshell, it feels like something he doesn't deserve to know, even with his urge of gaining as much information about people as he can. So he leaves that for now, instead focusing on Jonathan's question. ]

He showed up seemingly out of nowhere and I refused to give him a chance.

[ He speaks quietly, it's evident he's uncomfortable talking about it. ]

… I treated him unfairly.

[ He doesn't like saying it either, nor does he like reflecting on his own actions. It's never been a good thing, it leaves his thoughts spiralling until he's stuck in the darker recesses of his own mind. ]

And you fear you cannot be forgiven of that much?

[So he asks, before smiling softly.] ...Abbacchio. I may not know my son as well as others here...

[The smile is...sad.]

...but I suspect he may not have held it against you in the first place, if that is all. Unless your definition of unfairness involves some severe abuse, he may well have even expected it I fear.

No.

[ His eyes meet Jonathan's and there's a stony expression on his face as he makes his statement with more weight than is probably necessary. The implication of actually hurting Giorno doesn't sit right with him. ]

I didn't hurt him or anything like that.

[ Sure, he doesn't like Giorno but he wouldn't intentionally try to hurt him – hell, he was the one who tried to get him away from Purple Haze. Abbacchio is big, he gets in people's faces and personal space, he pokes and he prods, he makes threats he has no intention of keeping. But it's all posturing. Unless Giorno was an active threat towards them nothing ever would have happened.

Quietly, he sips at his tea again in a miniscule effort to settle the rising anxiety that's tugging at his nerves.

It's easier to go along with the belief that Giorno dislikes him, for whatever his own reasoning may be, than the alternative. The idea that Giorno holds no contempt towards someone who was only ever actively hostile in the time they knew each other – maybe Abbacchio is looking at this all wrong, were their roles reversed he wouldn't have given himself the time of day for his behaviour, he's used to being treated unfairly. But that's on him. That's how he sees the world, to assume others do the same is foolish. ]

I just… I don't understand why someone would forgive me– or not even hold it against me in the first place.

[ Maybe the real crux of the matter is being incapable of forgiving oneself. ]

[Hmm.

There is a thoughtful pause- one that has Jonathan nod just slightly, as he turns his head to glance out the window for a time to gather his words. What does it mean, to find oneself unforgivable? For even the smallest of things? He himself has certainly been no stranger to self-inflicted shame. Were he to incorrectly treat another as he would say Dio, in the midst of combat, then he would be beside himself with upset. It would take until the other made it clear he was forgiven to allow him to feel it even marginally 'right', but even then he realizes, he would still have those lingering regrets.]

...Would you do the same?

[He looks back.] If you had been treated the way you treated Giorno, would you have forgiven the other- held it against them- or neither, even?

[ Jonathan's words cut straight to the core of the issue, in that Abbacchio has a hard time even considering forgiving himself, but when it comes to others? ]

I don't know… It depends on the circumstances.

[ If it were someone he already knew and they'd tried to make amends? He probably would, even for bigger infractions than the way he'd treated Giorno. If it was a stranger? He doubts it. Doubts that it would be the kind of person he'd keep around in his life anyway. ]

Quite fair, [he acknowledges, nodding. Honestly that only strengthens his opinion of the man.] I cannot pretend to know just what Giorno would have had upon his mind when first meeting you- but in this particular case, let us frame matters with those shoes. As a stranger, coming to meet another- a younger man meeting with one elder than he.

You're asking if our roles were reversed, would I forgive someone for treating me the way I did him?

[ Trying to look at it the way Jonathan suggests is difficult. Regardless of who was who in the situation, it was still an adult choosing to be belligerent towards a child. He glances to the side as he thinks about it. He knows the answer is a definitive no, though it's hard to tell if it's because there's an internal bias there – those were his actions. Bringing his gaze back to Jonathan, he sighs; sure that his silence, and his reluctance to answer says all that the other needs to know. ]

I don't think I could.

Indeed.

[That was the question- and....well. His smile is pained, but understanding.] ...I suppose that rather pins down why it is difficult to conceive then; you yourself would not- how then, could someone else do so?

[A sip of tea. What does one say here? The trouble is if anything a matter of self-perception, emotions toward oneself. He has only a small idea of what could be done, and such little idea on if it would even help.]

...What options then, do you see before you? For myself and Giorno, I wish to wait until he wishes to speak to me again. It was a personal matter, and for me to pry before he feels it best would only further pour salt into such wounds I fear. But for you yourself, you are in the same house after all.

It's… not really something I had to think about before I got here.

[ Y'know. With the dying.

Even when Giorno had first joined Abbacchio hadn't even considered the possibility of it being a long-term arrangement, figuring he would eventually do something to get himself kicked out of the team. Although, if Bucciarati kept the rest of them around, he couldn't see him forcing Giorno out either, bleeding heart that he is. And if it was long term, at least they didn't live together. ]

I suppose 'continue avoiding him and doing the bare minimum when that doesn't work' is the wrong answer, huh?

It would certainly be rather difficult given that you share a roof over your heads I expect. And I further suspect that you have no intentions of moving elsewhere, [he adds, brows briefly raised- as if to say, or you'd better not, or I'll be Quite Disappointed.]

Rather typically I would encourage communication, but considering my own plight, you might imagine why I hesitate to suggest such a direct approach even in the best of circumstances, [Jonathan chuckles. But given the situation it fades quickly, and he sighs.] Perhaps, if you feel you have done something unforgivable, the best approach is to do things that could make partial amends. Offer the respect you would any other, perhaps even assist with smaller matters where possible. They are small acts- undoubtedly nothing that could 'make up' for things.

But are not small steps better than doing nothing but lament upon our perceived crimes?

IC INBOX | RYSLIG

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

god lmk if i badly misinterpreted this

YOU'RE GOOD

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, JOJO. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 336.66.256.63 * JOJO has joined 336.66.256.63 <JOJO...?>** Technically this message doesn't exist. Jonathan doesn't actually have a laptop. I just needed an Inbox.