standless | IC INBOX

[ Would he change it, the way he's behaved towards Giorno? It's hard to say, with how everything happened it's not like he ever got the chance to really get to know him. Though, he supposes that's what this is – what was it Bucciarati had said? Second chances and silver linings… ]

Some actions can't be forgiven.

[ Is he talking about his own actions towards Giorno, or of Giorno's towards him? Has Giorno really done anything so egregious? Abbacchio had only perceived Giorno to be untrustworthy, obfuscating his intentions behind pretty words. Was it really just a desire for privacy and not ill intent? If Abbacchio hadn't been so adamantly stubborn about Giorno… would things have still been the same? ]

[Again, Jonathan must think.]

Perhaps.

...There are those who would argue that my step-brother...in a sense, also Giorno's father, crossed that line long before I ever felt he had, [he finds himself sighing over his tea.]

...But somehow, I cannot fathom you yourself having crossed that line in this case. If I may ask Abbacchio, just what is it thatyou feel you did?

[ The more Jonathan speaks, the more pieces of information he reveals that Abbacchio thinks he absolutely should not know. As much as he wants to know more about that particular bombshell, it feels like something he doesn't deserve to know, even with his urge of gaining as much information about people as he can. So he leaves that for now, instead focusing on Jonathan's question. ]

He showed up seemingly out of nowhere and I refused to give him a chance.

[ He speaks quietly, it's evident he's uncomfortable talking about it. ]

… I treated him unfairly.

[ He doesn't like saying it either, nor does he like reflecting on his own actions. It's never been a good thing, it leaves his thoughts spiralling until he's stuck in the darker recesses of his own mind. ]

And you fear you cannot be forgiven of that much?

[So he asks, before smiling softly.] ...Abbacchio. I may not know my son as well as others here...

[The smile is...sad.]

...but I suspect he may not have held it against you in the first place, if that is all. Unless your definition of unfairness involves some severe abuse, he may well have even expected it I fear.

No.

[ His eyes meet Jonathan's and there's a stony expression on his face as he makes his statement with more weight than is probably necessary. The implication of actually hurting Giorno doesn't sit right with him. ]

I didn't hurt him or anything like that.

[ Sure, he doesn't like Giorno but he wouldn't intentionally try to hurt him – hell, he was the one who tried to get him away from Purple Haze. Abbacchio is big, he gets in people's faces and personal space, he pokes and he prods, he makes threats he has no intention of keeping. But it's all posturing. Unless Giorno was an active threat towards them nothing ever would have happened.

Quietly, he sips at his tea again in a miniscule effort to settle the rising anxiety that's tugging at his nerves.

It's easier to go along with the belief that Giorno dislikes him, for whatever his own reasoning may be, than the alternative. The idea that Giorno holds no contempt towards someone who was only ever actively hostile in the time they knew each other – maybe Abbacchio is looking at this all wrong, were their roles reversed he wouldn't have given himself the time of day for his behaviour, he's used to being treated unfairly. But that's on him. That's how he sees the world, to assume others do the same is foolish. ]

I just… I don't understand why someone would forgive me– or not even hold it against me in the first place.

[ Maybe the real crux of the matter is being incapable of forgiving oneself. ]

[Hmm.

There is a thoughtful pause- one that has Jonathan nod just slightly, as he turns his head to glance out the window for a time to gather his words. What does it mean, to find oneself unforgivable? For even the smallest of things? He himself has certainly been no stranger to self-inflicted shame. Were he to incorrectly treat another as he would say Dio, in the midst of combat, then he would be beside himself with upset. It would take until the other made it clear he was forgiven to allow him to feel it even marginally 'right', but even then he realizes, he would still have those lingering regrets.]

...Would you do the same?

[He looks back.] If you had been treated the way you treated Giorno, would you have forgiven the other- held it against them- or neither, even?

[ Jonathan's words cut straight to the core of the issue, in that Abbacchio has a hard time even considering forgiving himself, but when it comes to others? ]

I don't know… It depends on the circumstances.

[ If it were someone he already knew and they'd tried to make amends? He probably would, even for bigger infractions than the way he'd treated Giorno. If it was a stranger? He doubts it. Doubts that it would be the kind of person he'd keep around in his life anyway. ]

Quite fair, [he acknowledges, nodding. Honestly that only strengthens his opinion of the man.] I cannot pretend to know just what Giorno would have had upon his mind when first meeting you- but in this particular case, let us frame matters with those shoes. As a stranger, coming to meet another- a younger man meeting with one elder than he.

You're asking if our roles were reversed, would I forgive someone for treating me the way I did him?

[ Trying to look at it the way Jonathan suggests is difficult. Regardless of who was who in the situation, it was still an adult choosing to be belligerent towards a child. He glances to the side as he thinks about it. He knows the answer is a definitive no, though it's hard to tell if it's because there's an internal bias there – those were his actions. Bringing his gaze back to Jonathan, he sighs; sure that his silence, and his reluctance to answer says all that the other needs to know. ]

I don't think I could.

Indeed.

[That was the question- and....well. His smile is pained, but understanding.] ...I suppose that rather pins down why it is difficult to conceive then; you yourself would not- how then, could someone else do so?

[A sip of tea. What does one say here? The trouble is if anything a matter of self-perception, emotions toward oneself. He has only a small idea of what could be done, and such little idea on if it would even help.]

...What options then, do you see before you? For myself and Giorno, I wish to wait until he wishes to speak to me again. It was a personal matter, and for me to pry before he feels it best would only further pour salt into such wounds I fear. But for you yourself, you are in the same house after all.

It's… not really something I had to think about before I got here.

[ Y'know. With the dying.

Even when Giorno had first joined Abbacchio hadn't even considered the possibility of it being a long-term arrangement, figuring he would eventually do something to get himself kicked out of the team. Although, if Bucciarati kept the rest of them around, he couldn't see him forcing Giorno out either, bleeding heart that he is. And if it was long term, at least they didn't live together. ]

I suppose 'continue avoiding him and doing the bare minimum when that doesn't work' is the wrong answer, huh?

It would certainly be rather difficult given that you share a roof over your heads I expect. And I further suspect that you have no intentions of moving elsewhere, [he adds, brows briefly raised- as if to say, or you'd better not, or I'll be Quite Disappointed.]

Rather typically I would encourage communication, but considering my own plight, you might imagine why I hesitate to suggest such a direct approach even in the best of circumstances, [Jonathan chuckles. But given the situation it fades quickly, and he sighs.] Perhaps, if you feel you have done something unforgivable, the best approach is to do things that could make partial amends. Offer the respect you would any other, perhaps even assist with smaller matters where possible. They are small acts- undoubtedly nothing that could 'make up' for things.

But are not small steps better than doing nothing but lament upon our perceived crimes?

It's not that difficult.

[ The size of the place and the fact they're technically in two separate parts makes it surprisingly easy if they simply try hard enough. Still, he understands Jonathan's point, effectively driven home by his stare. Living alone isn't terrible and he does prefer his space, even so having others around isn't always a bad thing. ]

It is difficult to communicate with someone when they can't seem to stand being in the same room as you, though. And it's like you said – being pushy would be salt in the wounds, things are weird enough as is and I don't want to make it worse.

[ Both for his own sake, and those around them – he doesn't particularly want the others to get caught up in the middle. ]

[That protest earns a quiet, and at least somewhat polite laugh. Sorry Abbacchio, but that's just a very silly response!

Still, the man goes on, and so Jonathan quickly sobers up.] Indeed. Respect will certainly be the best of options then; particularly as it requires no words to be spoken at all. Show him courtesy, and I am certain you will make progress Abbacchio. I mean that.

[ Luckily the protest was intended as a joke. Mostly.

Respect… isn't a thing Abbacchio is good with these days. It has to be earned, it isn't something he just hands out for the sake of it. Giorno tried, he supposes, both at home and here, and all Abbacchio's done is throw those efforts back in his face. Mulling over Jonathan's words as he drinks his tea, eventually he speaks up again. The words sound hesitant, unsure. ]

You really think something so simple like that would work?

I do, [he answers honestly.] It may only be a fraction of progress, but I do feel it will be progress.

[ Even with Jonathan saying so, Abbacchio still isn't entirely convinced. He worries that giving Giorno space would just appear like he was doing more of the same and avoiding him, and that any small acts of courtesy would be so laughably out of character that it would just bring into question his motivations.

Which of course does raise the question of his motivations – what exactly is it he's hoping to gain out of this? Is it selfish that he doesn't want to deal with how unbearable it is to be around Giorno? It's through his own making after all, and Giorno owes him nothing. Maybe it's only fair that Abbacchio suffers through how uncomfortable and awkward it is to be around him.

He voices none of this, of course, simply finishes off his tea and sets the cup down gently. ]

I suppose it could be worth a try…

[Well, to that all he can offer is a smile right? Smile, hold his tea, and nod.

Of course it is! Of course it's worth a try.

The cat chooses now to interrupt.]

MrrrRWwwwwwwwww.

[Predictably by headbutting an arm. Ahhhh.]

IC INBOX | RYSLIG

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god lmk if i badly misinterpreted this

YOU'RE GOOD

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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, JOJO. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 336.66.256.63 * JOJO has joined 336.66.256.63 <JOJO...?>** Technically this message doesn't exist. Jonathan doesn't actually have a laptop. I just needed an Inbox.