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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, JOJO. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 336.66.256.63 *** JOJO has joined 336.66.256.63 <JOJO...?> Technically this message doesn't exist. Jonathan doesn't actually have a laptop. I just needed an Inbox. | ||||
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[The levity does not quite disappear with Maya's question, but he does find himself pausing to consider the matter at least. Because he wants to understand...
Jonathan brings a clawed hand to his chin, looking down in thought.] ...Indeed, to understand is important to me I feel, [he begins, carefully considering where his feelings do in fact lie.] ...In coming here after all I have come to understand quite a lot more about those around me, than I could have ever understood in my own home. There is so much which brings a person to where they stand in the world, and so little had been considered in my past.
...But were it mere understanding, I do not feel I would reach so far, perhaps. It is not so important I think, to truly understand- there will indeed be matters I cannot understand I know now, no matter how hard I so desire it. Thus I cannot claim to pursue such understanding when I reach out to those around me. Rather instead...it is a desire to see that which is 'good' within each of us flourish. We are all, a great many of us, doing our best to live our lives in this place. To seek company in others, and seek what we enjoy despite any tragedy upon us.
Perhaps as well I cannot even say it is precisely to encourage good in others, but rather to provide it, [he laughs, though the sound is soft, and quiet.] For even without understanding, and without knowing what may lie within another's heart, I cannot imagine it enjoyable for anyone to experience added pain and suffering without pause.
I should like to at least provide some reprieve, perhaps. At minimum, to contribute in the opposing manner is an unnecessary, unfeeling thing for me to consider.
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[Maya chimes in adoration, grinning ear to ear as she scritches Queenie's ears in turn.]
I think I get what you mean, though. Like, everyone's lives can already be so bad here— why do your best to be part of the problem, right?
Even the meanest people here, there's a part of them meant to be cared about by someone.
[She'd forgotten that, a little, in her anger as a Shade— but Rachel and Daniel had reminded her that even Aunamee was fit for someone to love.]
...That's really nice.
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I could not have put it any better. You have quite a kind heart yourself miss, that much is quite clear, [he adds, looking down to Queenie as the cat gives a pleased 'meow'.]
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[Maya seems genuinely confused— but altogether fairly unbothered— about whether or not it's inappropriate. But the conversation carries on, and Maya's gaze instead turns to Queenie and her cute little meow.
She gives a half-smile, shrugging, and rubs Queenie's ear.]
I hope so. I think I do.
[She admits, then—]
That's why... I'm trying to stand behind those kids, no matter what, even if they make a mistake.
Everyone who was a part of that broadcast... they're younger than me. They don't have people they can count on to protect them a every moment, and even if they did... Well, I know from experience, if you can't protect yourself? Then sometimes it doesn't matter how much someone else wants to protect you.
[She knows how hard Dandy looked for her when she was poached. She doesn't believe for a second he wouldn't. But finding her wasn't up to him.]
I would have taken the fall if it meant they got the strength they needed out of it. But if I did, then Atem's plan wouldn't have worked.
[She already feels bad for defending him as harshly as she did; not because she regrets defending him, but because she'd known from the start they were trying to make Atem look like the villain on purpose. As a shade, she simply couldn't handle that level of negativity.]
if this is hard to parse lmk bc sometimes Jonathan's Jonathanisms get Odd
But he can see now how others have taken it, particularly having spoken to the others himself. Atem and Ryou in particular wound up sitting with him over tea, and he does not regret that choice in the slightest.]
One can say many times that such grave payment should never be necessary, but that does not change the fact that it was- or at least that it appeared to be. As you said- there are times when one cannot be protected.
...if there appears but one option to gain such protection for oneself, how can I possibly lay true judgement?
[Even if he cannot agree with the actions they took-
He will never be unaware of how little choice they felt they had.]
...You did as best as you were able, [he adds with a small smile.] ...I feel they were quite fortunate to have your support, even with how things came about.
[No one expected, after all, for it to progress...Quite the way it did for Ryou, but for the same reason, she kept pretty remarkably steady he thinks.]
NO YOU'RE GOOD
She gives a half-hearted smile in return.]
I hope you're right.
[and once again returns to petting Queenie, smiling a little broader.]
In a place like this, we only get to find out if we've made the right choices by waiting and seeing, huh?
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[A pause- and quietly, he adds a small joke to bring the mood up further.] ...I should certainly think some letter writing can only end well, at least.
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Then I'll hold you to it.
So if your letters are boring, I'll make sure to complain a bunch!
[Teasing and playfulness are what she's best at, and the light seems to return to her face.]
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