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[ Oh, the apartment has its own entryway stars inside... he must have confused the interior entry with the exterior front stoop in his head. The Ring-Spirit supposes that makes as much sense as anything else.

His wings rustles as they readjust themselves uneasily when Jonathan addresses him. ]

Mm... a little too well, maybe...

[ After they're inside, as Jonathan putters with the kettle, the Ring-Spirit finds he can't sit still and begins to pace. Should he just... start? How? ]

Tch...

I...

[ Oh, he hates saying this. It's easier when it's Ryou, and even then it's still difficult. ]

...I'm... s-sorry -[ (he hates that word so much) ]- about... trying to kill you, before.

[ He could probably get away with blaming it on the Shade-ifying, but... ]

Oh?

[Statement flying quite swiftly over his head, Jonathan blinks. And then blinks more notably when he turns to face the other upon hearing...That.] I-

You've come to apologize? I accept it entirely of course, but please, you must know I'd not held the incident against you at all! We're speaking of that period whence so many became enraged shades, yes?

Mn.

[ He grimaces, then twists his expression into a pained smile. ]

That's... good of you, very good... perhaps you'll understand why I'm making a point out of this if I say... that, um.

...

[ He stops pacing and awkwardly gestures to himself. ]

This. This is still pretty new to me - it's still not... quite what I'd call my "normal". That was.

Turning part-shade gave me... back something that I normally have. That I lost when I came here. ...That whole incident was the most "me" I've been in a couple years out of the past few thousand.

[ He can't bring himself to make eye contact with Jonathan, mostly because he's starting to wonder if the other will even be able to understand why this apology felt so necessary to the Ring-Spirit... ]

The most 'you'?

[The water seems to have boiled rather quickly at least, if the way that Jonathan is going about setting up the tea now is any sign.]

Richard...when you say the most 'you', forgive me if this sounds rather ignorant, but just how is that so? Is not the you who you become over time just as equally yourself?

[Most likely he'll at least try to understand. It might be hard but he'll try.]

[ The Ring-Spirit sighs, trying to think on how to explain. Finally he holds up the gaudy amulet he wears everywhere, and gives it a slight shake. Its tines jingle almost musically. ]

Before Ryslig, you were human, yes? A mortal man. I was this. ...I still am, frankly. I'm still adjusting...

[ He cuts himself off, shaking his head slightly. That's not what he was trying to say, that's... How does he put this.

He drops the Ring again to knit and unknit his spidery fingers. ]

I... part of me, was human, once. A very, very long time ago; and I was never very good at it. Another part of me is the Great Evil God, the lord of shadows and the darkness within the hearts of all mankind. Most of that part of me... it was. cut off, in many ways, from integral parts of what makes me myself.

I've grown, and changed, since coming to Ryslig. But I'm not entirely certain if I would have changed the way I did if... I'm not sure that it's me who changed. ...That's...

[ He grumbles under his breath at himself and throws up his hands in a helpless, frustrated gesture. ]

...Fine, fine: lets just say you don't sound ignorant by not understanding, because I sound insane every time I try to put it into words!

[And to this, Jonathan must blink again.] Not at all, I should say. You don't sound insane in the slightest. But what I mean to say is that there are any number of things we could argue would not occur under 'typical' circumstance. Both here, and in our own realms. Is that not how life, indeed, any life involving such things as ancient gods and lords, is?

Thus, I find myself quite at peace knowing that 'yourself' is a matter of great multifacetedness- though of course, if you do not see it this way, I shall endeavor to correct myself on this!

[Jonathan,]

[ As Jonathan's reply sinks in, the Ring-Spirit stops, his brows knit.

He takes a few moments to really think about things, looking troubled. Finally he responds in a small voice. ]

Is that really... ok? I... I miss that part of me, the Darkness... I want it back. But I have friends, family, now...

Can I really have both? the Darkness, and people I care about? Mortals who matter to me?

If I'd never lost it, I wouldn't be able to care, I don't think, but...

[ Spidery hands go to his head. ]

I still want it back...

I dare say I think you should be more than able, [Jonathan answers. And though it is so immediate, so quick, it does not seem as if his words have no weight. It feels, somehow, as if perhaps he could be right- such is the confidence that Jonathan has in them.] It is natural, to miss what was pleasant about one's former being; and equally so to desire not to lose what one has now. I suspect a large part of life is in fact a constant endeavor to harmonize the two! [he laughs kindly.]

...I do wish though, that I could answer how to recover such a thing whilst doing so.

[ One hand falls away from the Ring-Spirit's head; one hand stays. He stands like that for a bit, having to reflect on Jonathan's words. Finally he finds a chair and sits heavily, with a sigh.

He's not entirely sure what to do with Jonathan's opinion on the matter. But as for 'how'... ]

Mnh... it's possible Mana could be of some use there... she helped me get my family back.

[ ...Oh, right - ] Have you met them? They stay in god-Dyster most of the time, as they're always screaming... they don't seem to be in pain, just unable to make any other sounds.

[ How delightful, ]

A curious manner of communication then, though far less jarring to consider than it would be if I were to simply wander in upon them, thank you.

I've not however, no- I actually haven't been to any such domain. It feels rather rude considering my own neutral state after all.

Mn. I admit, I'm used to it... I've missed them.

[ Whether he means his family or his family's screams is not clarified...

He nods slowly when Jonathan admits he's never visited the domain - that makes sense. ]

I've had them in Ryslig proper too, but... I didn't recall introducing you, no. Would you like to meet them?

I do wonder if perhaps it could be a translatable language of sorts, if they are able to communicate in that manner...

[His nerd is showing, as always,]

Indeed not however, so I would be quite happy to meet them yes!

IC INBOX | RYSLIG

I'm sorry this is so old now adfsdfa

lmao it took me an age to get to it myself tbf

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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, JOJO. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 336.66.256.63 * JOJO has joined 336.66.256.63 <JOJO...?>** Technically this message doesn't exist. Jonathan doesn't actually have a laptop. I just needed an Inbox.